Transcript: I'm Losing Weight But I Still Don't Love My Body (Here's What I'm Doing About It)
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Ashley responds to listener questions about how she feels now that she's losing weight, admitting she still doesn't love her body and still sees her former self in the mirror despite dropping pant sizes.
No, I don't love my body yet, but I'm working on it. So today is Valentine's Day. By the time you guys hear this, Valentine's Day will have passed. But I just I wanted to take a moment and kind of share some raw and real feelings that I'm having right now because it is Valentine's Day. It's a day of love. And I'm thinking a lot about self -love and loving your body. And one of the questions that I have received a few times is, you know, how are you feeling now that you're starting to lose weight? And how are you feeling now that you're you're. Pants are fitting better and you're having to get smaller pant sizes, like, you know, all that jazz. And the reality is, no, I'm not in love with my body just yet.
I I still I mentioned this in a previous episode whenever I had dropped. I think it was two or three pant sizes. I still look in the mirror and I still see that formerly fat girl. I really do. And so I'm working on the self -love aspect, but I'm not there yet. I'm you know, it's a I'm a work in progress. Right. I'm human and I'm I'm. I'm just trying to figure out how I'm feeling about the changes I'm seeing in the mirror. I'm trying to accept what is what I'm looking at.
And so, no, I'm not I'm not feeling that body love that I want to feel. But I am loving the fact that I'm feeling stronger than I ever have. I'm loving the fact that I'm feeling more flexible than I ever have. Every time that I, you know, complete a rep that feels difficult or feel, you know, do a move that feels hard. Or, you know, get through a really strenuous workout. Those are the times that I love my body the most because I get so excited that my body was able to handle it. And so I feel like the more that I keep showing up and the more that I keep getting stronger, the more that I'll start having that self -love. And I know that, you know, I didn't treat my body very well for a lot of years. And I wasn't mindful of the things I was consuming.
I wasn't mindful of the... the moves I was making. And now that I am, I am starting to treat myself with a little bit more grace. I am starting to treat myself a little bit better and it is helping in the confidence aspect of things. I've noticed that like things that used to really, really bother me, don't bother me as much. And yet at the same time, the funny thing is the more that I am kind of opening up my mind. Cause I, you know, I, I will admit I had, I had a lot of trauma.
and some issues mentally and emotionally. And I've been working through those. And it's interesting how now that I'm handling the physical aspects of my life, I'm starting to finally examine the mental and emotional aspects of my life that I had repressed and hid away for so long. And I feel like that wouldn't have happened if I hadn't started working on my fitness. And I think that's because... When we have so many things going on in our bodies and our minds, we can only focus on so many things at a time. And so whenever I'm at the gym and I'm working out, it's like that's the one time where everything just gets so clear and my brain just seems to like open up. And so, yeah, it's bringing some stuff up to the surface emotionally and mentally.
Ashley describes the specific moments she does feel love for her body — completing hard reps, getting through strenuous workouts — and connects showing up consistently to slowly building confidence.
But I'm actually grateful for it, even though in some cases, you know, it'll it'll hurt really badly mentally and emotionally. I feel like. because of the fact I'm finally facing things with fitness, I'm able to face things mentally and emotionally. I don't know if that'll make sense. Maybe someone can explain that psychology -wise to me, you know, hit me up with a voice note, you know, famousashleygrant .com backslash fitness. Feel free to send me a voice note if you can help me understand why it is that now that I'm taking care of the fitness, I'm also able to finally take care of the mental and emotional things. But yeah, getting back to the whole self -love thing, I'm working on treating Ashley better.
Ashley reflects on how working on her fitness has unexpectedly surfaced trauma and emotional issues she had long repressed, and says she's grateful for it even when it hurts.
I'm working more on falling in love with who I am as a person. And I do feel more confident than I ever have in my life before. And I do feel stronger than I ever have. And I'm just going to keep going and keep working towards, you know, my goals. Every time I accomplish one of my fitness goals or, you know, I'm working towards something or, you know, I'm able to get through a really tough workout or whatever it is. Those things are making me feel better about myself and they are giving me more confidence.
And so I think that as time goes on, the self -love will start to be more of a thing. So honestly, the best gift you can give yourself is to start working on your health. And so if you take nothing else from this episode, please take this, that you deserve to have a life of movement. You deserve to have a life of mobility. And so if you aren't working out, if you aren't moving your body. please start. It's the best gift you can give yourself. You are the most important project that you can work on. And I intend to continue working on my own body and my own project, my own mind, my spiritual, mental, physical, all the things. So yeah, that's what I've got for you guys today. I know it's no longer Valentine's Day, but happy Valentine's Day because like I said, I'm recording this on Valentine's Day.
Ashley wraps up by saying she's still a work in progress on self-love, closes with a Valentine's Day message, and invites listeners to send voice notes.
I love you for listening and I thank you so much for listening. And I would love to hear from y 'all if you want to share a voice note with me. go to famousashleygrant .com backslash fitness. I'd love to hear from y 'all. I'm loving the voice notes that have been coming in. I'm loving questions that have been coming in and I'm trying to answer them and include as many of them as I can. So if I haven't gotten to you yet, I am still going through them, but I'm really appreciative of every single one of you and onwards and upwards, my friends. Have you worked out today?