Episode 88Oct 2, 2026· 1:03:32
Denise Duffield-Thomas on Money Blocks, Ballet, and Being a Contributor, Not a Guru
▸ Show notes from the creator
Money mindset expert Denise Duffield-Thomas has built a huge business, and the win she's proudest of right now is passing her pointe shoe assessment at 47. In this honest, funny conversation, she tells me why she went back to ballet, how she stays sane as an introvert with a big audience, and what she's learning now that she's checked off most of her big life goals.
Denise is the founder of Money Boot Camp and the author of Chill and Prosper. She's also the reason I started my own podcast. Her line "be a contributor, not a guru" gave me the courage to share my story without pretending to be an expert, and I finally got to thank her for it.
The challenge Denise and I talked about - https://www.denisedt.com/challenge
About Denise
Denise Duffield-Thomas is the money mentor for the new wave of online entrepreneurs who want to make money and change the world. She helps entrepreneurs like you charge premium prices, release the fear of money and create First Class lives. Her books Lucky Bitch, Get Rich, Lucky Bitch, and her newest Chill and Prosper give a fresh and funny roadmap to living a life of abundance without burnout. Her Money Bootcamp has helped entrepreneurs everywhere clear their money blocks and build the income they deserve. She’s a lazy introvert, a Hay House author and an unbusy mother of 3. She lives on the East coast of sunny Australia with her family and two fur babies.
Find her at...
www.denisedt.com Instagram: @denisedt Facebook: @denisedt
About this episode
Money mindset expert Denise Duffield-Thomas has built a huge business, and the win she's proudest of right now is passing her pointe shoe assessment at 47. In this honest, funny conversation, she tells me why she went back to ballet, how she stays sane as an introvert with a big audience, and what she's learning now that she's checked off most of her big life goals.
Denise is the founder of Money Boot Camp and the…
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Full transcript
00:19
What's up, my bloggy friends? Famous Ashley Grant here and welcome to the bloggy friend show. So Denise Duffield Thomas. Denise Duffield Thomas. Holy crap, you guys. That is the big person that I have been teasing y 'all for a while that I finally got the opportunity to interview. This woman has been on my bucket list as a podcaster since I started back in goodness. I started in 2020. It was in. April 2020 that the very first episode went live and so she has been on my bucket list for six years. I was told whenever I started a podcast that I needed to write down my top people that I wanted to interview whenever I started interviewing folks and she was at the top of the list like from the very beginning.
01:02
Nine years ago I joined her money boot camp and before that I had actually bought a book called Get Rich Lucky Bitch. I read it like it was a secret map like a secret code. And I have been learning from Denise, goodness, since then. I mean, for more than a decade. And last year in her podcast, she said a sentence that honestly changed how I think about content. She said, be a contributor, not a guru. And when I heard it, I thought, wait a minute, what? I don't have to be an expert to start? And that one line is why I have a fitness podcast today. And y 'all, I'm not a fitness guru by any stretch. And yes, I'm sure you can hear it in my voice. I am super starstruck. I was so excited to be interviewing her. She is the best -selling author behind Chill and Prosper. And that's also the name of her podcast. She wrote Lucky Bitch and Get Rich, Lucky Bitch. And I just freaking love this woman.
01:57
And I'm just so stoked, too. share this interview with you and uh we go a little off topic we're not completely talking about blogging in this episode we we talk about ballet we talk about fitness we talk about all kinds of things but y 'all I just let the conversation go where it was going to go because it was just that important to me and I loved everything that we talked about and I also love the fact that Denise said that she would come back as a guest so I can't wait to talk to her again but for now I hope you guys enjoy the show let's get into it So the first thing, though, that I have to say before we do anything is I have to thank you because back in March of 2025, you had an episode of Chill and Prosper where you said be a contributor, not a guru. And when I tell you that unlocked something in me that I didn't expect, it just it kind of blew my mind. Right. And and it's kind of what started the fact that I'm now a
02:57
fitness podcaster, which is so crazy because I'm not a fitness. guru by any stretch of the imagination I'm just a girl who was trying to you know tell my story and you gave me the courage like I'm really happy about that yeah I think that's so we're not recording right now but I think this is a good one to put on here oh no I'm actually already recording so anything you say let's go no this I think it's really key because that's actually what people love people love hearing stories from all different um angles of each topic But we think, oh no, I have to be the perfect of the perfect before I'm allowed to even whisper anything. And I'm like, there's a lid for every pot. Someone needs to hear it exactly from you, the Ashley Grant style. Yeah.
03:44
Otherwise they won't hear it. It's so true. And this guy on Reddit that I had never met before, he even commented, he's like, you know, hey, I heard your podcast and I like the fact that you're not a fitness influencer. He's like, because too many people are polished and full of crap. And I'm like. He gets it, which is funny because it's not for men, but you know. No, but like it takes the pressure off because then you're like, but I'm not trying to be anything I'm not.
04:08
And I think it helps with the imposter syndrome, but it's also like, oh, I'm allowed to have a voice. I'm allowed to have an opinion. It doesn't have to be, you know, the perfect one to contribute to the conversation. Yes. And I've actually quoted you several times about that because like, you know, I started the show from my car. And that also became a thing because I work for, I don't know if I told you this in the interview or whatever, but I work for rss .com, the podcast hosting company. And so I was telling them about it and my marketing manager, he's like, so you basically have a car cast. And I'm like, oh my God, I never thought of that. Trademark that. Yes, I totally wrote that down. Did you ever do periscopes when Twitter? I did. But wasn't it the one that like disappeared after 24 hours, very similar to Snapchat?
04:57
I can't remember if they disappeared, but I used to sit in my car when my kids were little because they'd be asleep and I'd be in like a McDonald's parking lot trying to hide it because just in case any crunchy moms were like, you're at McDonald's? And I would just do like an hour -long Periscope every day. I love that. It's such good practice for now when I have my own podcast. when I go into the studio and I do like 12 episodes in one day. But I'm like, you just got to start with what you've got. And even if no one's listening at the start, it's practice. Absolutely. And I love that because, you know, it's really gotten me used to kind of talking to myself. And I've had this joke for a while now that if anyone sees me talking to myself, I'll just say, look, I'm self -employed and it's a staff meeting.
05:43
It's so true. It's so funny when people will say, though, how do you? Like, how do you sit and do so many podcasts in a day? And I'm like, I've been training for this my whole life. Like, shut me up. Or when people say, what could you talk for an hour on? I'm like, let's roll the dice. Let's pick it so I can talk for an hour on anything. I can too. It's so funny. And I used to get in trouble for talking in class. I always had the marks like, it talks too much and I'd get the demerits and the conduct cuts and all that thing. And whenever I started working in corporate, that was always my quarterly review is she talks too much. And I'm like, now I get paid to do it. Now we get. And who knew that this would be a thing? Yeah. So I'm going to give you a little bit of background. So I joined Money Bootcamp in 2017 and I was looking in my Amazon archives and I actually bought Get Rich Lucky Bitch in April of 2013. And I'm just like,
06:35
I'm going through this going like, oh my God, I have like really been stalking her for quite some time. What does that feel like to you to know that someone's like been listening to what you have to share for so long? Um, as an introvert, I, I don't think about it. I really don't. And I think, um, I've never, um, wanted attention from my business. And so I actually do struggle with that a little bit where, um, I don't really love doing speaking gigs and stuff like that.
07:07
So a lot of the work that I do, like when I do my own podcast, I'm just in a room talking. to myself with the sound engineer next door when I write my books I'm doing that when I'm doing a lot of my videos it's just me in a room so I I can't think about that sometimes and I just have to trust that it will reach the right people and yeah I don't know I it's just not my personality I think to um seek out attention not that that's a bad thing I love my extrovert friends and I wish I had some of that a little bit because they can do speaking gigs for the for their own enjoyment whereas for me I'm like you have to drag me out of the house to do it so I have to be detached from it honestly and but I and I can receive it and I go oh I know that helps people but I can't think about it too much and I do a few little things like my team They don't pass on praise to me because if I believe that, then I also have to believe someone who says,
08:04
like, you suck. Right. So I kind of have to be quite insular, I think, for my personality. It's interesting you say that because I remember shortly after I bought the book, I actually sent a message and I was just like, oh, my God, this is amazing, blah, blah, blah. And I got an auto or a canned response back saying, you know. Thank you so much. But we will not be sending this to Denise, but we appreciate that you, you know, supported her cause. And I'm just like that. Oh, my God.
08:30
I don't think that because no, it's not bad at all. What I think is so wonderful about that is your boundaries. You are so good with boundaries. You're so good at like no fluff and no, no, no, like airy fairy. Like even though you do subscribe to some of that, I love the fact that it's always grounded in real. Like that's one of my favorite things about your content is when I listen to it, it doesn't feel. Kind of like the fitness podcast. It doesn't feel like you're putting on fluff. You're not, you're not putting on the glam and all the, all the junk you're just cutting through the BS and telling it like it is. And that's, I mean, where, where did you get that in you to just kind of tell it like it is? Has it just always been ingrained in you? Yes. I think to having ADHD and having low inhibitions about sharing stuff, I think is probably something I've always had. But I've also always been that
09:23
kid who was like, oh, I saw this on Oprah yesterday after school. Let me tell you about it. I read this book. Here's the thing. And I don't know if that's just being a Virgo of just like wanting to be helpful, wanting to help solve people's problems and just being someone who's just very open. Like my mom, I think is probably like that too. So I grew up, you know, she would tell strangers anything, you know, and I'm just that kind of.
09:50
person too and it's funny you were talking about Sandy Foster because when we were hanging out two weeks ago um at this conference I was telling her like just some really intimate random details and I'm like that's just who I am like I and maybe it's sometimes a bit TMI but and I feel like um I've given myself permission with that with the contributor thing of going I don't have to pretend to be anything I'm not yeah just tell the truth and It's the same with a couple of years ago, I released my tax returns because I was like, well, I'd make the money either way.
10:24
So I'm just going to put them out there. I don't know. It's just very natural for me to tell people random stuff. I have to stop myself sometimes. It's hard though, isn't it? Because like, especially whenever you like start feeling comfortable in something you're talking about, it's so difficult to kind of figure out like, oh, where's the spot where I went too far? Oh, absolutely. I had to almost give myself a bit of scope, scope parameters a little bit. And so not to say there's anything off limits. Definitely when I'm on a podcast, people go, is there anything you don't want to talk about? I go, no, but there's, I realized that there's useful and not so useful things to talk about in my work. Yeah. And you can, you can go a bit too far. And so I kind of go, okay, I'm going to stay within these parameters.
11:16
And for me, that might be like, I go, okay, money blocks, you know, money mindset, pricing. I'm not going to talk about health and fitness, or I'm not going to talk about. about relationships or I'm not going to talk about sex I could talk about any of those within the context of money but I needed to have a bit more parameters of myself because my first website was literally like I can help you with anything and I had all these different tabs like a million different things because I'm like I could but just because you can doesn't mean you should right Yeah, that's actually something I used to get fussed at a lot for. I started my business in 2007. Didn't get serious till like 2014. But yeah, one of the things that was always said to me is like, you're always doing so many things. What do you actually do? And I'm like, how do you answer that? I'm a multi -passionate person. Like I loved when Marie Forleo came out saying that
12:09
because I'm like, yeah, that's what I am. But now it's like, okay, fine. I guess you really do have to hone in and figure out, you know, what you actually want to be known for. Yes and no. And I think there's, there's nuance to this because sometimes when people are multi -passionate, it's like this agony of thinking there must be my thing out there. Yeah. Right. And so it's this never ending quest, that hungry ghost thing of going, I need to find my thing. But sometimes your thing is being a creative person, being a, um, not even the jack of all trades, but it's like, there is an umbrella sometimes. And I didn't.
12:47
realized this for a long time but actually when I was in a job my boss told me this and I was like oh my god so I was saying um I wanted to invent bag hooks I've probably talked about this one of my books where I'd go to go to a restroom and there'd be nowhere to hang your thing and I was like I'm gonna do like a hook thing and I was like talking about it and he was like no someone's already invented that and then I was like what do I do with my life now that was my one idea and he was like no you're a storyteller Yeah. Like you're a storyteller. And I was like, oh, that's, it was just like a light bulb moment.
13:22
It's not like that I went, oh, I know what I'm going to do, but it kind of gave me permission of like, no, there, there are umbrella things. And for a lot of creatives, it's like, I'm a problem solver. I'm a creative genius. And then I help people solve problems in lots of different ways, but I don't have to take each one of those. problems home and make it my business forever so I I kind of think of that as for some people they're an ideas doula or a business doula where it's like you wouldn't expect your midwife to come home with you her job is done right but but sometimes when we think of all those ideas they're like haunting us and they're like why don't you love us anymore and you go I'm sorry I thought of something else but it's like it's because I'm a creative person and so to some people it is and helping others to initiate it's helping to light the fire for people or to motivate
14:15
people not to finish everything and I think there's there's a real pain in in that sometimes of like what do you want to be when you grow up and we think it has to be a job or it has to be a thing yeah and no it doesn't yeah and I like the fact that what you've done by looking at everything through the lens of money is you're giving yourself permission to explore every single thing that there is in this world. But because you have it through a single lens, it all has boundaries on it. And that's one of the things I actually really like. Yeah. And that's really helped me.
14:50
Yeah, I can imagine. It's helped me so much. It's helped me too because people will say, don't you get bored with your business or how do you not procrastinate or shiny objects? And I'm like, I do. But I think of it as going to a water park where there's all these different slides, but everyone ends up in the same pool. And I have to have that discipline in myself of all roads lead to money bootcamp. So I can be super creative.
15:15
in all of those things but I'm not creating new programs I'm creating new water slides that all lead to the same program and it just has helped me in my brain to not punish myself when I'm feeling antsy or creative I just go leave the back end alone experiment in the front end right yes that's that's my sex life philosophy as well leave the back end alone And it's the only discipline that I have of just going, don't break your business because I see so many people do the other way, right? They're going, I'll create this program and this thing and this thing because I'm bored.
15:52
And it's like you can scratch that itch of boredom in a much more productive way for your money, right? Just create new marketing channels, create a new opt -in, create a new e -book, create a new podcast episode about it because most of the time the itch actually does. go if you don't enable it right and we enable it we enable it sometimes by I'll buy the domain name I'll tell people about it I'll do the thing you obligate yourself to do it but you could do all of that in a better way absolutely I agree a thousand percent and it's kind of funny because Most recently, because of the fitness podcast, like I've been talking to my husband and to, you know, different people about the fact that I'm finally trying to figure out my personal brand because I've been a ghostwriter for well over a decade. And I kind of want to step into the spotlight because I'm way too vain to keep my mouth shut. And so,
16:45
yes. And I don't know, I guess it's like the nurture in me wants to give to everybody because, you know, my archetypes are nurturer, connector, accumulator. And but at the same time, it's like I do have a little bit of celebrity in me that wants to just I mean, come on. I have the moniker famous Ashley Grant for a reason. And and over the last year and a half, I've really stepped into becoming the more movement girl. And it's it's so funny to me because, again, I never in a million years thought I was going to be a fitness person, fitness podcaster, none of that. But but whenever I finally gave myself permission to explore that, I'm like, well, you can look at everything through the lens of fitness because.
17:23
And movement is not just about, you know, weight loss and things like that. It's about so much more than that. And so I don't know. So my thing has always been since I got serious about this is all roads lead to, you know, famous Asha Grant dot com. So I like the that philosophy of all roads lead to boot camp. And it's so funny just hearing you say all these things that I've heard you say for years. And it's actually something you've said before where you're like, I may tell you the same thing over and over again, but finally it's going to click. Absolutely. But also, I can I just say I love the more movement because it's not about being perfect. Everyone can just do a little bit more. Right. And like any that counts a little bit more than yesterday. That counts. I love it, by the way. I think it's it's really it's got juice to it. Yeah. And well, the interesting thing is my my company, my first
18:12
company was called More Than Photographs. And my mom goes, well, why did you name it More Than Photographs? And I said, because I do more than photographs. I wasn't very clever, but it worked. No, but there's a theme there, right, of like getting more out of your life. Yes. Yeah. More money, please. More money. Exactly. More of this please universe. I think that's a really good one. Like if something little happens, like I find a coin in the street, which happens to me a lot, by the way, I literally pick it up and I go, more of this please universe. If I have.
18:44
a beautiful Sunday where I feel content and like more of this please universe. It's just such a great way to embed in those good feelings and also to be like this and, and even more please. Yes, absolutely. For some reason you just made me think of that Ariana Grande song. Yes. And anyway, moving on. Ted Lasso was talking about that this week. Did you watch the most recent episode of Ted Lasso? I've actually watched an episode of Ted Lasso. oh it's really good but they talk about that thing in um in like sketch comedy where it's yes and and one of the um women in it she was reading a book about saying yes more so she was saying yes and they were like that you you don't have to just say yes you can say yes and as well and still set boundaries it was it's a really good episode it's worth looking into I might have to just watch it just for that absolutely well um I kind of want to pull you back even though you said you didn't
19:40
want to talk about health and fitness Because it's kind of related to money, I do want to bring up ballet. Yeah, let's talk about it. Yes. So one of the things you had said was that not everything has to be a business. You're allowed to have a hobby. When did it come to you that you're just like, okay, I got to get back in ballet? When did that happen for you? Okay, so when I was a kid, people would say, what do you want to do when you grow up? And I would say, I want to be a dancer or I want to be a business lady, but I'll probably be a business lady because you can't make money out of being a dancer. Right.
20:14
I don't even know where that came from for me. Cause it's not like my mom said that, but it was just, I think that's just such a part of our culture, right. Of, of like, you can't make money from being a creative. or you have to make money in a serious way. So I always loved business anyway, but I was obsessed with dancing as a kid. It wasn't even so much ballet. I did tap and jazz as well. But what my dance teacher was really good at is getting us performing anywhere.
20:44
Anywhere on the Central Coast where I grew up, we would be there. So it would be like McHappy Day. Do you guys do that? No. Okay, so it's called McHappy Day, but it's like where McDonald's around the country. we'll have like a little fair kind of thing okay and it will be like they'll raise money for charity so we would always perform there like we would perform in nursing homes every single weekend we weren't good by the way for the first couple of years but what that really gave me was um resilience because we would turn up somewhere and they'd go hey we don't have a stage you have to tap on this flatbed truck that's gonna move Or, yeah, you're going to be tap dancing on grass today. Or we would be on a slippery floor and half of us would fall over or whatever it was. And I think there's such good parallels to business, right, of that numbers game of getting through like your first hundred
21:40
rejections or your first whatever. It's that resilience. So it was just a really big part of my life. And especially since I had a very chaotic upbringing, dance was a real like. I feel like my dance teacher kind of raised me kind of thing. Right. So, but I was very clear. I was like, I don't have the body to be a dancer. It's just not my, it's not in my future to do this professionally. But when I was 16, I auditioned for a company that did shows all around Australia, like children's shows. And it was, there were Looney Tunes shows. So like Bugs Bunny kind of things. So every school holidays, it would be in a shopping center, a Westfield shopping center.
22:20
And so I worked for that company from 16 to like 22. And they also got the contract to do the Olympic mascots for the Sydney Olympic Games. So I was one of the mascots inside the suit, right, for years. So it was just such a part of my life that I always compartmentalized it. And I was like, I am a performer, but I have to do this instead. Like not that I have to, but that's how you make money. So it always just felt like a real creative split for me. And I never stopped thinking about dancing. And as soon as my kids were two and a half, where they could join tiny tutus, I was like, dance, dance, dance. And then I'd be like, I'd just be sad going into like the ballet store, the dance store.
23:05
And I'd just be like, like looking at the shiny tap shoes and be like. And I try and do adults classes here, there and everywhere. It's just not the same. So a couple of years ago, I found an adults dance studio in Newcastle and it's dedicated for adults. And I think this is really important because it's just for adults. It's not an afterthought and it feels like you belong, right? And it's a serious thing. So now I do ballet exams. I do... cap classes I do performances I do I just had our concert I make costumes and I feel like I'm home back in that environment right it's very familiar to me and I feel like I've come full circle I'm like I am a dancer and I am a business lady and those things can coexist but also I think too there was sense a lot of women who then go well it's not my time anymore it's all about my kids And I'm sure this is true for fitness as well, right? It's like I don't have time to work out or it's just not
24:11
my time I think is a big thing, right? And so I love now that on a Saturday I drop my kids at their ballet, I go to my ballet. And sometimes I do have to miss things for them because I'm like, I've got a show. And, like, I almost didn't get my kids to come to my dance concert because they had a full day of sport. birthday parties and all that stuff and I was thinking they'll be too tired and then I went but I go to all of their stuff yes and so yeah I go to I sit through all of their soccer things and whatever and I think it's not about the it's not about the dancing so much but it's about a reclamation of like my hobbies and interests are important too and I am I am worth that and I've never enjoyed exercise in any other context except for dance and so it's just been like I'm allowed to do things that I love um the thing about turning it into a hobby is sorry the business is tricky because um because I make costumes a lot for
25:20
our dance school too there's been times where people like oh so you're gonna do this for a job you know or can you do oh can you do for our theater and I'm like no no no no no I don't want to have clients in that way but I do have to also I've noticed there's been a few times where I'm like oh that's fine I'll just pay for that and so I'm like oh my money blocks are coming into that space as well where I'm like no you still have to have boundaries and you still have to like you know but a few times um my husband will come home and he'll be like what are you working on and I'm like oh it's it's a costume for a dance that doesn't exist yet. It's a great like creative outlet where you'll go, what's that for? And I go, it's for the horrors. And he's like, what? And I go, it's to combat the horrors of the world. That's why I'm making this tutu that no one asked me to make. I think it's really good though. And I think it's really healthy
26:13
because, well, first of all, it's cheaper than therapy. It's cheaper than meth. It could be meth. Let's put it that way. Yes. I can honestly say that was not on my bingo card for you to say today. That was hilarious. But yeah, I think that, you know, one of the beautiful things about hobbies, especially ones that involve movement, is it helps you to think of ideas. Like I get some of my best business ideas while I'm working out. And it's so funny hearing you talk about dance because like that's one of the reasons I'm obsessed with Zumba is as a kid, I loved dance as well. And I would have kept dancing, but. Reader's Digest version, I encountered some bullies. So my mom pulled me out of dance and put me into Taekwondo. But, but yeah, as soon as I was starting to work out, I'm like, okay, I got to find my thing. And it's definitely not lifting weights. So, but, but yeah, just dance is so fun. And I love. So fun. And I think too,
27:12
what's been fascinating about going back into it is all the different experiences around. dance and people's relationship to their bodies. So we'll have people who weren't able to dance as a kid because of money. And so that reclamation for them is like, I'm allowed to spend money on this now as a grownup. There'll be people who, one of my friends who goes to dancing at 15, her parents said, look, we don't want you to be a professional dancer. And so she became an ER doctor. And so she's an ER doctor. And for her. You know, it's like she's an amazing dancer, right? But she stopped at 15 because she thought, well, if I can't do this for a living, I'll stop. We have people who have had so much body trauma from ballet teachers that they've had to do therapy before they can even come back into class. There'll be people who it takes them a year to even put on a leotard. It's just, it's fascinating the different experiences and also
28:13
the different. challenges that people will have coming into it too, where people will say, oh, I'm not going to go to the photo shoot because I'm too old, or I don't want to be on stage because I'm too old. And I'm like, but next year you're only going to be older. Like, why wouldn't you do it now? Like, um, and the tap class I go to, I'm probably, I probably would be the youngest in the class by like 20 years. Right. And they're all amazing tappers. And one of them, um, she said to one of the others, she goes, look at Denise's lovely young back. and I was like what and I just made I was like oh my god I had got chills because she goes enjoy it enjoy your youth and here's me going I'm 47 years old what am I doing you know dancing all the time and my my daughter is always like mom and I'm like oh my god I can be doing this for another 20 30 years and I'll look back and go man my knees were so good at 47 and so it's like Why do we
29:14
think that we have an expiration date on our hobbies? Especially when it comes, I think for women, like no one has ever said to my husband, Mark, when he goes to golfing, like, oh, you know, are you going to be a golfer now? Yeah. Or like he plays football and oh, well, you're going to be a professional football player. And it's like, no. Whereas I think a lot of people felt like, oh, if I'm not going to be a professional, I have to give this up. And I was at a dance competition with my youngest, so she's eight.
29:44
I've got eight, 10 and 12, but the eight and the 12 -year -old dance too. And we're at a dance competition and I was just, I don't know, I must have just been tapping or something as I do, just like la -la -la. And one of them said, did you used to dance? And I said, no, I dance now. And she goes, I didn't know, like. grannies this is what she said I didn't know grannies were allowed to dance but you could see they were just like what and I'm like I dance now all the time and it blew their mind but I'm like I want them to see this if you love something you can do it for your whole life it doesn't have to be all or nothing it doesn't have to be a career it can be you do it because of joy but there are some things I think that especially for women it's like no I have to choose. I'm like, no, you don't. And there's so many different avenues now to do it. Like even like pickleball. I love that that's come in because it's like, I've never
30:46
been able to play tennis, but I'm like, pickleball looks like it would be doable. It looks like it, but I, I tried it. And the funny thing about the fact that I tried it is I actually do some editing for pickleballhub .com and I, I am not a pickleball girly. Give me some dance shoes any day. But you can keep your balls, honey. I'm good. I know my 12 -year -old who, as I said, she dances. She just got on point this year for the first time. But she doesn't want to do competitions because she also wants to do tennis on Saturdays.
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And I'm always like, ew, an outdoor sport, yuck. I'm like, ew, I'm an indoor cat. I'm always like, why do you want to do that? Just do more dance. That's so funny. It just grosses me out. I'm like, ew, yuck. But, yeah. That's just wild. I love the fact that you said that you were debating whether or not to bring your kids to your recitals, but then you made them go anyway for two reasons. Number one, yes, they should watch mommy because come on, you do go to all their stuff. But also I love the fact that you're teaching them that as they get older, it's okay to take time for yourself. Like that is just, it's so important because like you said, we're taught too much to not do something productive means we're not actually making money. And I disagree with that completely. Oh, you know what? I actually, there was something, another layer to that. Last year for our concert, a few of my friends were like,
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we really want to come see you dance. And I just kept on going, yeah. And they'd be like, when are the tickets coming out? I'd be like, nah. And then a few of them came and I was just like, you have to promise me you have to be out of my eyeline. You have to sit right at the back. You cannot, you cannot even talk about it afterwards. Do not even talk to me about it. Right. What they got out of the concert was so different to what I expected. all of them and they're all women my age were just like oh my god that was so life affirming and so that's why this year I had no hesitation in inviting them even my babysitter my long -term babysitter who used to be my full -time nanny she came as well to help with the kids and because I knew it wasn't about me and they were there crying their eyes out for every single performance because they'd be like um oh my god I could see that lady's hand shaking and it just made me so proud of
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her and then the next one was like oh my god I've never seen like a woman with tattoos all over her body wearing a tutu and it's so healing for everyone in the audience to see that right and my dance teacher doesn't say oh all the tall people at the back so all my tall friends were going oh my god the tall girl was in the front row for some of it and it was so life -affirming for them and it's like seeing different body shapes. And so I was like, oh, I know that this is not about me. And that's such a beautiful gift to show yourself enjoying what you do and to be in your body and to role model that to everyone, I think is just so powerful. I'm very curious because I've noticed, you know, you've been posting a lot more about that on social media. You've been sharing, you know, as you're thrifting to get the costume stuff, which I love, by the way, that's just amazing content. that has nothing to do with your business, do you
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feel like it's drawing people into Money Bootcamp? Well, I struggle with it a little bit because I go, I mean, I go to dancing every second day, right? So I feel like I just want to start a whole separate account just for dancing. And then my friend's like, no, no, it's really inspiring. And I go, is it? Okay. All right, cool. So I feel like I'm probably holding back to my detriment on that, you know? So this conference I was at two weeks ago, run by my friend Tash Corbin, her big keynote speaker pulled out. And so I was like, yeah, totally, I'll speak. But I said, I actually don't want to talk about business.
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I want to show all of the photos from my dance concert. And not just photos of me. I was like, this is my friend Chrissy. she's deaf and look how amazing she is and this is my friend Alida up until you know two days before she was wearing a knee brace for this whole thing and this all six months in the lead up to the concert she's had all these health challenges and this is my friend um uh Alyssa she's a school teacher and this is my friend Kate and she's an ER doctor and I was like crying on each one because I was like, I'm so proud of my friends. And so I'm like, I know I should share stuff like that more often, but I do, I get really shy about it. And I'm like, Ooh, I'm like, Oh no, I can't. Where do you think that stems from? Um, some of it is, I think intro introversion as well of just like, I want things that are for me. Okay. And I feel like, um, I was talking to one of the girls afterwards actually, cause I said, One
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of the reasons why I don't do a lot of public speaking is because when I do share stories like that, it feels so personal. But if I had to do that a million times, it would start to feel like I was, I don't know, forcing that because I feel like, oh, it's so personal. And she was like, I used to feel the same way. And then she was like, you know, my sister died. When I speak about her on stage, I feel like I'm really honoring her. And I'm like, I know that really helps people to hear me talk about that. And it reminded me of this lady in Australia. This teenage girl died from ecstasy. She was the same age as me.
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Her mom spent the next five years of her life going to, oh, it makes me cry thinking about it, going to every high school in Australia, talking about it. And it made such an impact on me. And I thought. wow that like it was a real gift for that woman to share her experience because I know it definitely impacted me a lot and so that made me change that as well of going there is a real gift in sharing things and I discounted that for a while and I forget how many people have seen the dancing stuff and gone oh maybe I need to get back into a hobby or maybe I need to do this thing I just I feel like for me I'm like I'm like oh it's mine So I've got to find the line of that, I think. I definitely get that because I mean, you know, especially as content creators, it's very difficult to figure out like what is mine versus what is something I share with the world. I can't imagine, especially since, you know, you have a much larger platform
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than I do. I can only imagine some of the people that reach out to you and how if you constantly feel like you're giving of yourself, you're like, well, what's left for just me? Yeah, it can feel a little bit that. that way because you know that everything is content yeah right um I think there was a point where I did feel a little bit not burdened by it but again being an introvert being known by people can be a little bit jarring to be honest and there's been a couple of experiences for me where I've been recognized in an out of context way and I realized too for me I think being a performer um you know, putting on makeup, putting on a costume has always been a really great way for me to shield that, you know? And so even when I do speaking gigs, like I'll get my hair and makeup done, I put on a costume in a way, not because it's fake, because it just helps me with that confidence. So then being
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recognized out of context is very, it's very jarring. And I'll tell you the two experiences that happened. One, I was getting on a plane and the stewardess she goes it's you and I was like oh my god and so for the whole flight I felt so self -conscious and I was like sitting there just like going how would Denise Duffield Thomas sit and read her book and I'm like I can't like pick my nose scratch my bum like and it made me I was like oh my god being famous would be so if everybody knew who you were it'd be so um I don't know vulnerable or something and then the other time I was at Disney Disneyland Hong Kong oh wow someone was like oh my god it's Denise and I was like holy shit how weird and I just was like oh don't perceive me because I always think how do people know who I am if I'm not like wearing my Denise costume yeah sounds so weird I'm like how do you recognize me so there's been a few experiences like one time
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someone at an airport recognize my kid that's when I stopped putting my kids online so I do try and be smart about it I've never had any really bad experiences I have had someone come to my house but she was nice about it she wasn't a stalker but it it just made me go oh I have to be mindful in today's world about um just you have to be careful I think you know and um it can happen that some people get stalkers or some people get you know weird relationship things and I've got kids that I have to think about in that way so a couple of boundaries I've got around that I don't do any work in my town so I don't do any speaking gigs at all um and I try and keep my town just like my place and even same with dancing there's a couple of people at dancing who are like I've listened to your podcast and I'm like no and that's not here that's not this space you know like I am I am a dancer here and I like that people are I have more people
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in my world now who see me from that context not from like my podcast or my books um and I I probably felt about two years ago I felt this energetic fork in the road I was like how famous do I want to be because I and I can say this from not a place of ego but I was like I could have a show. I could be on TV. And I don't know if that's something that is in a different lifetime or if it's later in the future for me, but I really felt that fork in the road moment. And I was like, no, that's not for me right now.
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Yeah, I don't know. It's a strange experience because you want more impact, obviously, and you want to help a lot more people. But I've always struggled with that from an introversion, I think. I think it's also a protection thing. Yeah, it definitely does. I think it's also a protection thing. Cause I mean, you know, we, we see all the time, you know, Reddit threads that pop up that are simply snarky ones. Like, I mean, I saw one for a YouTuber that I barely even knew. And it was like that person's name Stark. And it was literally just a page to make fun of that person. And I'm just like, what a weird time we're living in that there can be an entire subreddit about someone. So, I mean, I completely understand not wanting to have anything happen in your own town. But I also love the fact that you've done so much in podcasting.
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Like, doing guest podcasting, I think, is one of the most brilliant moves you made. Because, you know, as I'm researching for this even, like, I'm finding all these amazing quotes that you said. And, of course, I'm not even going through any of them right now because I'd rather just hear what you have to say while we're talking. But yeah, just like finding all the stuff, not only was it Backlink Juice that, you know, got to your website, but just the wide variety of all the things you talked about. How did podcasting become the thing that like, I mean, I know part of it was probably because you didn't want to go and do speaking gigs, but how did guest podcasting become such a thing for you? I'm very curious about that. I think, yeah, a combination of a lot of things. One, you know, I didn't want to travel. and I love talking and I love not having to prepare heaps of stuff so um yeah I would
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say most years I do about 200 interviews a year um at the moment I find and so you're my fourth for today so once a week I open up my calendar and I'll do between three and five And I did find there was a point where I was like, oh, I think five is too many for me now. I don't think I can do five in one day because I start to forget what I've spoken about. I do. And I don't know if it's just because of perimenopause stuff. I'm like, have I already told this story?
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What's happening? What am I saying? But I love the fact that I can reach more people, but I can just, again, just having a conversation with somebody. It's just magic. What an amazing opportunity to be able to do that. So it's just always been easy. And I think that's the key to a lot of business success is find the ease for you. I couldn't sit down and write a 500 -word article every day. Writing is just so hard for me. But I can sit and talk for five hours. Yeah. And that will have a huge impact. And I'm kind of detached a little bit now. Um, I don't go on really brand new podcasts. And the only reason I do is because I know what entrepreneurs are like, and they're like, I'm going to start a podcast. And then I've been on heaps of new ones and they, they'd never even upload them. I'm like, that was not a good use of my time. So I, sometimes I'm like, I have to be a little bit thinking of like, okay. But I'm, I'm so detached.
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I'm just like, whoever listens to this and it makes an impact. Great. I'm not one of those people who are like, oh, I've got an agenda for every podcast and I'm going to send you to a link and it's going to put you into a funnel. Mark, literally my husband, Mark, he goes, we've got a challenge coming up. Here's some points you can talk about in today's podcast. I was like, I'm going to look at that. I'm like, whatever, because that's just not my style. So I think it's been such a great, it's just been easy for me and it's been fun and I like it. But I do.
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have to still have those boundaries of going i couldn't do it every day so i do it on thursdays and i do it from seven to what is it 11 and then i go to the movies because that's enough talking for one day um and i don't on when i have my boot camp call days i can't no nothing gets scheduled in there so it's usually three to four weeks out of the month i'll do three to five I love that. And you know, my favorite thing about it is it seems like for you, it's like a low lift way to get out to more people. And that's been a thing that I have been staying literally since the beginning of this year is I want the lowest lift way to make as much money as possible and reach as many people as possible because I'm tired. Yes, we're all buggered. We're all so tired. And also there's so much noise, right?
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And so just do what you can do. my God, just do whatever you can do, but do something. Yeah. You know, just do something. And I think too, it's a really good way to, I don't know, start to articulate your thoughts and your story. And I often also re record them as well on my side, because then I'm like. Great. I can just put that through a transcriber thing. And then that's my emails written for the month. I love that.
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That is, I'm still learning from you, the keyless lifestyle and all that stuff. Cause I'm rereading a chill and prosper right now. Cause of course I had to, cause since I was going to be interviewing you and it's so funny because I'm like, on the one hand, like, like I mentioned earlier, I've heard all this before, but yet I'm still finding golden nuggets that I'm just like, Oh my God. Brilliant. That's good. Well, do you find yourself doing that with people too? Like, like people that you consume content of, do you catch yourself going like, oh my God, they probably said that before, but now I get it. I'm curious. Oh, definitely.
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Definitely. But also sometimes you hear it in a different phase of your life or, you know, I don't know. I do think repetition is, is really key for stuff. And that's why I, it's that contribution, not a guru thing, right? Where I'm like, I don't have to come up with new stuff all the time. Like it's okay. Yeah. Um, yeah. I like the fact that you've often said that, um, business isn't hard. It's just a matter of like actually showing up and selling the thing. It's exactly, it's really not that complicated. You know, I think sometimes we get caught up in the how to's and people are like, I don't know how to do that thing. And I'm like. You could figure that out in like five minutes. Like you're just scared.
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And that's really, really normal. Because especially now you can Google how to do anything, but nothing is beyond us. But it's just, we just get scared. And we worry that people are going to judge us. And we come up with all the excuses of, okay, well, maybe when I've lost weight, or maybe when Mercury is out of retrograde, or maybe when I'm less tired. And, you know, you've been following me for a long time. So you have seen me pregnant.
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You've seen me tied. You've seen me at probably lots of different weights. You've seen me where I probably wasn't feeling that great. But I have shown up all the time. Yeah. And the fact that you have is like you're giving permission for us to all be our own version of what a wealthy woman looks like. And I love that exercise of just stand here and say, you know, I'm very wealthy. Like this is what a wealthy woman looks like.
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And so I'm curious in all your years of business, because you've been in the game a long time. What would you say is like the most magical moment you've had of something that you've manifested in your business that you did not think was possible? Oh, that's a really tricky one. Okay. So I'm a ruler in money archetypes. So rulers are very dismissive of accomplishments. okay where I was like oh whatever what's the next one and I I find I've done that a few times where people go oh congratulations on you know your book or whatever and I'm like oh oh yeah I guess I did that like what's the next thing so that's a really honestly quite tricky thing to answer I'll tell you something that's non -business yeah when I and I really did feel it when I um wanted to start doing work on point again so you know when you're wearing pointe shoes you have to do an assessment these days in the 90s you just found
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a pair of pointe shoes in the garbage bin and just put them on like there was no there was no testing now you have to go to a physio and get cleared to do it and I felt so when I passed my pointe assessment I was just like this feels so good like I was so proud of myself um And it was because, you know, I worked towards something and I achieved it. And I feel like I haven't had that experience in business for a while because I think I've probably just been doing that ruler thing of like, it's not enough or do more or whatever. So I think we can create that presence in our business. And I want to bring that in and just go, because I was like so chuffed. I was like. so proud of myself. I don't do that in business enough to go, I'm so proud of myself.
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I've just been very dismissive, I think. So it was, I think that was a really big learning for me to, to bring that more into my business instead of, I don't know, instead of just thinking, oh yeah. I feel that in such a deep way because it's always that constant, like, well, yeah, okay, fine. I got a thousand, you know, followers, but I need 10 ,000. Or like, oh, I finally made $1 ,000, but I need 10 ,000. So it's interesting you say that because that's why when I started the fitness podcast, I was so intentional about I am going to celebrate every single milestone.
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Like, I mean, I was even I'm to the borderline obnoxious about it at this point because I had I don't know why I really don't. But all of a sudden, in the past 30 days, I got like 2000 downloads. I don't know what happened. I'll take it. But like I've been sharing, I've been sharing the milestone cards and someone today said to me, they're like, didn't you just share one two days ago? And I'm like, yes. And I'm going to do it again. I, well, I love that because I think it is embedding those things in as well. But also it's like, I think it's really cool to acknowledge people. as well. You know, when someone goes, Oh, I've only got, you know, a hundred people on my newsletter. So I'm like, if you had a hundred people in your lounge room, that would be a lot.
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Oh my God. Were you listening to my conversation? I literally just said this today. I said to my husband, can you imagine if 50 people were in the room, what would we do? It'd be a lot. And so I love those. I love those wins. Right. And I think it's, it's also very, um, I think it's relatable to people to, you know, to, to, celebrate all those milestones instead of thinking, oh, I'm only allowed to do it when I get the million downloads. It's like, no, stop. You're allowed to do it now. So I think, yeah, it's a good learning.
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Yeah. And I think that if we acknowledge it now, we call more in. We really do. Yes. And actually something that I did a couple of years ago, again, I was obnoxious about it, was I'd say, thank you. I received that. yes because I needed to do it because I'd be deflecting going oh no that doesn't count or whatever and I just started with compliments I'd be like thank you I received that and I sounded like such a dick but I'm like I needed to do it to myself yeah no because even people are oh cool you've had three books with chaos I go yeah but I kind of like I'm not a real writer like I totally just tricked them into it and then recently I've gone I wrote those books pre -ai every single freaky word myself I'm like I need a gold star for that what the heck you need a sticker and a cuddle I love it I love it and actually when you like kids dance classes they get stickers and I'm like we need
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to get stickers in our dance school we need stickers and lollipops yeah all the time exactly I agree well what do you want to manifest into your life now because I know that like did you ever sell the rose farm Oh, yes. But when I say yes, but it's got a very long close. So it actually, it sold officially a couple of months ago, but it's settling in November. Okay. So what else do you want to call in now that you've sold the Dreamhouse, you've sold the Rose Farm, which was like, to me, it kind of felt like out of left field, but yet at the same time, it didn't. So what's next for you? What do you have next on the I want to manifest it roadmap? Yeah, it's a really great question because I feel like I'm in a bit of a void space a little bit where I'm like, what do I want? Because I realize I've ticked off so many of my life goals in a way that some people would take a long time to achieve. And so I'm
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like, do I want to travel right now? No. Do I want to? And I'm like, I don't really know. It's a little bit void -y, which is interesting, right? Um, I've got some around dance, you know, where I'm like, okay, I've got my ballet exam coming up. So I, you know, would really like to get a high distinction in my ballet exams. We'll say that quietly. I got distinction last year. I'm like high distinction. So I think I've got some little ones and what's the new learning for me is contentment because I've spent, yeah, it's real. I spent my whole life, um, being a real achiever. I wouldn't say type A because I've never considered myself like that, but I've always been striving for something. And I've never lived in a house longer than three years or so because I'm always like, what's next? What's next? So I'm challenging myself to feel content.
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And I don't know what that looks like exactly. So I'm playing around with that. But to be honest. like huge number goals don't motivate me so much anymore. And yeah, I think it's, it's more personal, personal goals. I'd love to do a tap exam again. Yeah, that would be really fun. I would love to, I'm competing next year in like a ballet. I've never done a solo ballet in a competition before. So I've signed up for that. And I've got to do two numbers. So that's going to be a big challenge as well because they'll be on point. So it's more of those little things. And it feels really weird because some part of me is like, am I a muggle now? I am really judging myself, right? Because I'm like, am I just a normal person who has normal goals? Because I've spent most of my 20s and 30s going, well, I have to be a millionaire. Now I have to double it.
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Now I have to buy a beach house. the rose farm was a big example of that too and I was like oh it's okay to have smaller more targeted ambitions for me in this phase of my life and that's the lesson I think too of going oh there'll be another phase where other dreams and goals will come in but I also it is another little secret dream I'd love to be in a um a photo shoot for a dancewear brand yes Oh, God, I'd love to see that. But I think if you have earned the right to wear your tutu, you've earned the right to go after smaller wins now. Yes, yes, yes, yes. It was fun. I think it's just wonderful. And I really hope that I get the opportunity to interview you again whenever, you know, things are kind of, I don't want to say settling down because I don't think you're ever going to be the type of person to settle down. But I want to see you on the other side of giving yourself permission to have contentment. Because the fact that you
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are showing that you're giving yourself permission in a weird way, it feels like it gives all of us the permission to. And I just I love that. Like just again, it goes back to what we talked about at the very beginning. You're raw and real and you've never sugarcoated anything. You've always just told it like it was. And I just think it's wonderful. I really do. Thanks, Ashley. I really appreciate it. I've loved our conversation.
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Thank you. So where all can people find you online? I know the answer, but I want to hear it from your lips. Yes. So I'm super easy to find online. Denise DT is usually a great place to search. So Instagram is where I hang out mostly on social media. So Denise DT. I'm also on Facebook. I am on Twitter, but Twitter is a weird space where I just mostly talk about random stuff, not money at all. So if you're interested in politics stuff.
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random stuff um my books are on audible um kindle paperback you can even get your library to order one in I think that's a really great way to um to get to know me a little bit and to start working on your money blocks especially if that's a new conversation to you as well that's a really good place to start but yeah I'm easy to find um and I've just I've I've got a lot of resources to help around really specific things so if pricing's an issue for you I've got resources around pricing on my website and stuff. Well, I know you have a free manifestation challenge coming up. Yes.
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Oh, my God. This is so much fun. We do a five -day money manifesting challenge every, I think it's November this year. DeniseDT .com slash challenge. Thank you. Because Mark wrote that on my list, but I was going to ignore him. Thank you, Ashley. Mark, we love you. You're welcome, Mark. But, yeah, it's a really fun one because we. a lot of people find money in it but it's something about spending like focused time on something and really spending that time on your money is um is a really interesting challenge so yeah that'll be a free challenge happening in November yes and I can contend I've actually done the challenge a couple times even though I've been in money boot camp since 2017 I've done it a few times and it's interesting the things that come up like I've landed clients from that challenge even though it has nothing to do with actually chasing clients No, exactly.
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It's just that spending that time focusing, I think is really powerful on anything, isn't it? So, you know, money doesn't have to be this horrible gross thing outside of us. It can be, it's just normal and it's just part of our life and we're allowed to talk about it. We're allowed to talk about it. Well, thank you for the permission for that. And I really, I've loved our conversation. Thank you so much. And I will totally come back.
59:23
I love being a repeat guest on people's podcasts, you know, like, because there's so many avenues we can talk about. yeah we want to have our paranormal conversation we discussed that oh my god can i let me tell you a really quick story about that you believe in ghosts by the way yes okay i've had many ghosty things happen especially since we've moved houses a lot but one thing happened recently that was really weird so i thrift a lot um occasionally there's been some weird energy on stuff. But because I'm doing more sewing, I've been thrifting a lot more materials and stuff. And I was joking about like, oh, every time I like thrift some pins or some like haberdashery stuff, I'm like absorbing the sewing ability of like all these old ladies because I'm quite a new sewer, right? But anyway, I thrifted this material. It was like a very sheer curtain material.
1:00:19
And I was going to turn it into some sleeves for a Marie Antoinette costume, right? I'd had it for a while. But I opened it up and I started cutting it. And I was like, oh, this material has an energy attached to it. And I realized when you thrift clothes, there's not a lot of unfinished business with clothing. But for crafting supplies, imagine the unfinished business of someone's stash of crafting stuff. So this. energy ghosty lady she just started like I couldn't see her I don't see ghosts but I can feel them and so she was just like watching over my shoulder as I was cutting up her material just to be like what are you doing with my material and also what are you doing because I don't know what I'm doing right and so I kept on just being like okay okay all right cool and then I was like, yeah, this is a bit too much energy for me. So I'm going to take my stuff and I'm going to go into the lounge room. But I had to keep on coming
1:01:19
back because I'd be like, knock on the door. I'd be like, I'm just getting my scissors. I'd be like, oh, I forgot my pins. And I came back in. So she stayed for about three. I don't know if she's still here, but she stayed for about three days. And then I think she left. But it was really, yeah, I've had so many experiences like that. But that's my most recent one. So I'm like, oh, I have to be careful about some of these unfinished craft projects I bring home.
1:01:42
I can only imagine. I moved from Florida to Richmond, Kentucky in the middle of the pandemic. And right before we moved, I gave a bunch of my craft supplies away because we just didn't have room in the truck. And for about a year, the gal I gave all my craft supplies to, she kept sending me pictures of what she was making. She's like, make sure you're okay with what I made. That's so sweet. I feel that so much when you're saying that.
1:02:08
I'm like, well, I'm still alive, but she was asking permission. because stuff has energy attached to it doesn't it yeah so that was a that was an interesting experience um but you know money has energy too and so we can learn to play with those energies and there's so many oh yeah we could go in so many directions next time so we need to we need to play on the things yeah we do there's so many things i want to say about property and like rose my rose farm and beat house and so many lessons around all of those things so yes We will talk about it. That sounds great. Well, thank you again so much. And yeah, I'll see you in boot camp. Okay, I'll see you there. I'll see you on the next call. Bye. Well, my bloggy friends, I hope you enjoyed all the insights our guests had to share with you. To get the show notes for this and all episodes, go over to famousashleygrant .com backslash podcast.
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And until next time, may your page views be high and your bounce rate be low.